It is a sad fact of life that one in three marriages in the UK will fail and there are many more unmarried couples separating who may have very similar issues to resolve. The real cost of relationship breakdown is not merely financial, although anyone who has been through the process of divorce will know how costly court battles over assets can be.
The real cost is in the personal and emotional turmoil that so often accompanies the end of relationships. A bad divorce or separation can leave lasting scars, not just on the couple involved but on the children and the extended family. Solicitors who are members of Resolution will always try to encourage couples to reach agreement and over 90% of cases are resolved without court battles.
The process is however, still adversarial. Each person has their own solicitor who communicates with the other person’s solicitor and negotiates on behalf of their client to reach an agreement that the court would approve. The risk is that you can feel removed from the decisions being taken on your behalf.
Imagine a situation in which you sit down together with your former partner and your respective solicitors and commit to sorting it out together. You can share your hopes and fears and work together to reach an agreement to which you have both contributed. You emerge ready to get on with the rest of your life without the bitterness and unresolved anger that can so often accompany the traditional divorce process.
It may sound far-fetched and impossible when you are at the initial stages of the relationship breakdown, but it is increasingly a reality for many couples. The approach is called collaborative family law and for many it is the best way to deal with a very painful and emotional experience.
How does it work? To start with everyone enters into an agreement that court proceedings will not be used. Both of you has your own solicitor. The solicitor that you choose will be a Resolution member, trained in the collaborative process and will be experienced in dealing with family law in the traditional way. It may be necessary to call in expert help during the process from counsellors or the financial market if the situation demands. You will agree to attend a number of meetings, where you will discuss an agenda and work at a pace that you are both comfortable with. You commit to give full disclosure and talk openly about the issues to be resolved. The number of meetings you attend will depend on how quickly you are able to resolve matters.
The approach sends out a positive signal to children who, research has shown, benefit hugely form knowing that their parents are working out their differences together in a constructive way.
The collaborative approach is not an easy option and it may not be cheaper than a well managed traditional approach, but for couples who have used it, it provides a genuine resolution to marital breakdown. Many have successfully remained on good terms with their former partners enabling them to co-parent their children without difficulty. Collaborative family law is not suitable for everyone but provides a real alternative for many couples who are genuinely seeking to resolve their differences and move forward.
To find out mare about collaborative family law contact Hannah Kelly on 01375 484444 or Jennifer Taylor on 01245 322111
